When I Was Stood Up

When I lived in England I didn't have many friends. In the first year I went to the cinema on my own, sat on benches or went for walks all by myself. Read a lot. Planned my evenings around what was on telly. Went to the library. Spent time with my au pair children.
In the beginning it was strangely liberating, but as the months went by I started missing my friends more and more.

I did make friends of course, Deborah our neighbour's nanny over time became my best friend in England, and through her I met some great people. But you are so vulnerable when you only have a handful of friends.

Through work at a temp agency I met two girls that I got on great with, Camilla and Alicia.

Camilla, me and Alicia

We started going out together, meeting up after work and hanging out. Finally I felt like a normal young girl again, with friends!
But then Alicia went off to Uni, and Camilla planned to go away to Africa for some sort of project (something about finding new bugs if I remember correctly!?). So there went my new friends.

Days before Camilla was to leave we had decided to meet up in.. where was it? God I can't even remember but somewhere like Twickenham or something. Let's just say it was Twickenham. It was quite far anyway.
So I walked to the train station, got on the train and off I went. As I tried to call her to say that I was getting close her phone was engaged, and I texted her instead, but no reply. When I got to the station where we were meant to meet up I still couldn't get a hold of her, so I remember trying to call her from a pay phone as I thought maybe there was something wrong with my mobile. Engaged.
So I walked around the station for a bit, unsure of what to do. After a while I just had to give up and get back on the train to go home again.

As I was on the train I got a text from her. She had been on the phone to her boyfriend, breaking up, and really could not face going out. Well I was on my way home anyway. I had even bought her a present!
I do understand these things happen and so on, but when you are so alone in the world (or the country) these things really get you down.
I remember getting back to Ashford train station, thinking "no way am I walking back now!" (it was a half hour walk) and trying to get a taxi. There were none available and I remember hating the taxi office who told me to sit down and wait. Screw you taxi!
So I walked back in the dark all by myself, and got home about 2,5 hours after I had left. What a great night.

I actually haven't spoken to Camilla since, and this happened in 2005.
Really it wasn't that bad, but it just shows how vulnarable you are when you don't have another friend to call if you get stood up, or a relative or ANYONE. It makes it all so much worse.

And Camilla, for the record - I forgive you ;)